WHY BE AVERAGE IF YOU CAN BE SPECIAL? by Genevieve Rivadelo
Published 21 April 2008, Manila Bulletin

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

The birth of a child with special needs is devastating for any parent. After nine months of anticipating the birth of the perfect little bundle of joy, it is far from welcome news to hear that the baby has Down Syndrome or any other congenital defect that renders the child disabled. There are cases when the baby seems to be perfect at birth, even more beautiful than imagined. He goes through the normal developmental milestones until at a certain age, usually after a year old, the child starts to lose his ability to speak and shows some atypical behaviors and patterns of play, as in the case of children with Autism. In both situations, parents would say that they felt their world crumbling before them, as their dreams for their child were shattered and they were left with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

“My child is special.” Such realization triggers varying responses, from extreme grief and denial for most parents, to a feeling of acceptance and sense of purpose for those who have learned to transcend their personal issues about ‘disability’ and somehow find meaning in being blessed with a child with special needs. Who is the child with special needs? Before we begin defining who the special child is, we should always keep in mind that first and foremost, he is a CHILD. Society would often view children with special needs in terms of their disability, thinking of them simply as being deaf, blind, or orthopedically-handicapped. Such perception often leads to discriminatory attitudes reflected in the manner by which schools view differently-abled children. However, children with special needs actually have more in common with typically-developing children, than they are different.

All children develop at different rates, and there is an acceptable deviation in the manner by which children go through the developmental milestones. Some kids walk and talk later than others, while some breeze through learning their motor, language and social skills, much to their parents’ joy and pride. With this in mind, defining who the ‘special child’ is, is not as easy as it seems. We veer away from the labels that we used to attach to children with special needs, and see them more as ‘differently-abled,’ possessing strengths and abilities just like any other child.

Unknown to many, individuals with special needs can actually use their being ‘special’ to their advantage. Dr. Templle Grandin, author of Emergence: Labeled Auitistic, is a doctorate degree holder, world-renowned livestock equipment designer, and associate professor at the Colorado State University. She is autistic, and she attributes her success to having the disorder and perceiving it more as an asset than a liability. Robin Williams has Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Tom Cruise has Dyslexia, and we know how they have contributed to the field of entertainment. In our country, Eddie Boy Tuviera, an adult with AD/HD, graduated with honors from the Asian Institute of Management and is successfully managing five businesses which most likely is a difficult feat for anyone without AD/HD! There are many others who have used their being ‘special’ to be a cut above the rest.

Every parent dreams of having a regular child, an average child who does not differ from the rest. However, being blessed with a child with special needs does not spell out ‘the end of the world’ for a parents’ dreams and their hopes for their child. I challenge them to think “Why be average when you can be special?” There is actually more reason to dream and to hope.

Question: "Many say that early intervention is best for a child. What is early intervention in special education and how early is early?"

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

Early intervention refers to the provision of therapeutic and/or educational services to children, from zero to three years of age, who are born with a physical or sensory disability commonly arising from a genetic, neurologic or metabolic disorder. Children at-risk for developmental disabilities would likewise benefit from early intervention. This could include children of mothers who have had a history of a difficult pregnancy or delivery, and those from impoverished families wherein the mothers received inadequate, if at all any, prenatal care.

Research has proven that early intervention allows children with special needs, or those at-risk of having special needs, an opportunity to develop as normally as possible.

Teaching the child the proper way of crawling, holding a spoon, learning to say "mama," and many other milestones in development is most possible during the infancy to preschool stage, than if taught much later.

Studies on brain plasticity show that the human brain develops fastest from zero to seven years of age. When a child is given optimal sensory stimulation during this critical period of development, the child would be able to learn faster and have a better chance of achieving important developmental milestones in spite of his/her special needs.

The key to early intervention is early detection. As soon as the child is diagnosed with a disability or runs the risk of exhibiting delays in his/her development, the child is referred to an interdisciplinary team of professionals. This could include a developmental pediatrician, a physical therapist, occupational therapist, speech pathologist, and a special educator who collaboratively come-up with a comprehensive program aimed at teaching the child important skills, as well as work behaviors necessary to learn.

The frequency and duration of sessions would vary, depending on the specific needs of the child.

Early intervention could be done in a home-based, hospital-based, center-based or community-based setting by the interdisciplinary team.

The family of the child plays a very important role in ensuring the successful implementation of the child’s early intervention program. Prioritization of educational and therapeutic goals for the child would highly depend on the family’s priorities and concerns. Since they are with the child most of the time, they have a responsibility to carry-out the child’s early intervention program daily in their homes in a manner that is enjoyable for the child. The responsibility of special educators and other professionals tasked to provide early intervention is to empower parents to become their child’s best teacher.

WHAT IS EARLY INTERVENTION AND HOW EARLY IS EARLY? by Genevieve Rivadelo
Published 26 May 2008, Manila Bulletin

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

Mainstreaming and inclusion are two significant movements in special education that have stemmed from changing societal attitudes towards disability. In the past, children with disability have been schooled in institutions segregated from the rest of society. This would include individuals with obvious disabilities such as blindness, deafness, mental retardation and physical handicaps. In the early 1970’s, many professionals and parents began to question the efficacy of segregated classes in bringing out the full potential of individuals with disabilities. With limited natural experiences outside the institutions wherein they were kept, how could we expect these special individuals to learn to function as normally as possible amidst the rest of
society?

Equal opportunities for persons with disabilities then became the battle-cry of advocates seeking for “normalization,” which means greater access to community resources, public transport, independent choices, and the chance to live, work, and play in normal surroundings. Such social climate gave birth to public policy supporting the identification of children with special needs in the public school system and a wider range of educational options which would most appropriately answer the child’s unique academic and social needs.

Tracing the history of special education, the concept of mainstreaming preceded that of inclusion. However, more often than not, both terms are used interchangeably to refer to educating individuals with special needs in the regular schools as opposed to special schools. When mainstreaming was first applied in the public school system, the goal of such initiative was primarily to provide greater social interaction between children with and without disabilities. Parent organizations lobbied for equal opportunities and equal rights in the mainstream of society. Children with disabilities were allowed to attend classes with their non-disabled peers, specifically during subjects that were less challenging such as in P.E., Music and the Arts. Once they encountered some degree of difficulty, most likely in the more difficult academic subjects like Reading, Science, and Math, they were pulled-out from the regular school classroom by the special education teacher into a resource room wherein the child with disability will be individually instructed according to his/her capability. The special education teacher follows an Individualized Education Program (I.E.P.) which would contain the specific educational objectives, both long-term and short-term, laid for the child by an interdisciplinary team of professionals tasked to collaboratively address all of the child’s developmental and learning needs.

On the other hand, inclusion, being more progressive in philosophy, advocates for schooling the child with disability in the regular classroom for all or nearly 100% of the time with same-age peers. The regular education teacher has a greater responsibility to teach the child with special needs, instead of relying on the special education teacher to do that task. For inclusion to succeed, curricular adaptations, instructional modifications, and differential grading should be used by the school, and the child should be moved-up every year to the next grade level, whether or not he/she has mastered the competencies for the grade level that he/she is in.

Practicing “real” inclusion is not merely mixing children with disabilities to those without disabilities. It requires a paradigm shift in viewing children with special needs as no less than the majority of children, and accepting their limitations without prejudice. It means going the extra mile to understand the person with disability, to set high yet realistic expectations and to be prepared for the challenges that would come once “real” inclusion is sought for. Teachers should possess the required competencies to adopt special teaching methodologies, school policy should support admission and provision of accommodations, home-school collaboration should be well established, environmental accessibility should be ensured, and networking with professionals, government and non-government organizations, and advocacy groups should be aimed for by the school committed to practicing inclusion.

Research has shown that mainstreaming and inclusion generally benefit both typically-developing children and those with special needs in terms of setting high expectations for all children, as well as promoting a culture of tolerance for individual differences. However, in as much as no two children are alike, not all children will best be educated in a mainstream or inclusive set-up. The child’s unique needs, strengths and limitations, and the family’s priorities and resources would all play a significant role in determining which kind of educational placement would bring out the best in every child. The challenge for parents, educators, and society as a whole is to erase long-held ideas and misconceptions about disability and appreciate the person with disability as someone who is simply differently-abled, capable of succeeding in life just like you and me.

“WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF MAINSTREAMING CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS WITH REGULAR STUDENTS?” by Genevieve Rivadelo
Published 30 June 2008, Manila Bulletin<link>

It is natural for people to fear the unknown, and ignorance as well as our prejudices have a way of blinding us to simple truths!
There are schools which refuse to administer admission tests to children with AD/HD, or downright reject admission to a child with Down Syndrome, simply because they are labeled as having special needs. It is a sad reality, since these children have much to "teach" our schools, lessons that can only be learned if we allow them to be a part of our schools with a welcoming and non-discriminatory attitude that they rightfully deserve.

SCHOOLS SHOULD CELEBRATE DIVERSITY AND EDUCATE ALL CHILDREN.

According to UNESCO, in the Salamanca Statement and Framework for Action on Inclusive Education (1994), "regular schools adopting INCLUSION effectively combat discriminatory attitudes. These become the training ground for a people-oriented society that respects both the differences and the dignity of all human beings."
All children are different! Schools should celebrate diversity and aim to educate ALL children regardless of individual differences in learning, attitude, behavior, and competency.
A good school has the capacity to ensure that all of its students learn according to their ability in spite of variations in learning style and pace.
In the same way, a good teacher has the capacity to motivate and teach even the most difficult learner, whether or not he is labeled as special.

STUDENTS WILL BENEFIT FROM SPECIAL CHILDREN.

Research strongly suggests that mainstreaming or including children with special needs in the regular schools benefit students without disabilities in several ways: It enhances their sensitivity to the needs of others; It promotes positive attitudes resulting to meaningful friendships with peers with disabilities; It gives students an opportunity to learn about human diversity and increases their tolerance for individual differences; and It improves the self-concept, social skills, and problem-solving skills of all students in the inclusive classroom.
On the other hand, research has shown that traditional schools which showed little tolerance for diversity bred students who were more prone to stereotyping and held more negative characterizations of peers with disabilities.
Consequently, these students have a lower capacity to deal with imperfections and unmet expectations in their own lives.
The benefits of mainstreaming children with special needs can only be gained if the conditions for effective mainstreaming / inclusion are met.

PREPARATION.

Before a school accepts a child with special needs, it should prepare the entire school community – administrative, teaching and support staff, and other parents and students, for the entry of the child with a disability. The school’s philosophy, mission and vision should strongly support why the child with special needs would be given an opportunity to be educated in the school, thus paving the way for policies and procedures that would ensure that ALL children in the school would benefit from such educational decision.
For successful mainstreaming to be achieved, the school should evaluate its capacity to educate the child with special needs in the regular school classroom. Can the school cater only to children with mild disabilities, or does it have the capacity to handle even those with moderate to severe disabilities? How many children with special needs can it accommodate in one class? Best practices studies generally suggest that no more than two students in a class of 12 should have special needs to maintain an optimal learning environment for all students in the inclusive classroom.
How many teachers will there be in one classroom? Do the teachers possess the necessary competencies and experience to handle children with disabilities?
Research has shown that inclusion fails primarily due to teachers’ lack of confidence, skill and experience in working with children with disabilities.
Likewise, a large class size will make individualization challenging, if not impossible. If conditions for successful inclusion are not met, this may result to ambiguity in implementing school policy, a stream of complaints from other parents, a less than optimal learning environment, and inability for the teaching-learning process to take place. Thus, mainstreaming / inclusion defeats its purpose of educating ALL children and benefiting from its possible gains.

CAREFUL PREPARATION AND LONG-TERM PLANNING REQUIRED FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN.

Mainstreaming children with special needs requires careful preparation and long-term planning. If successfully implemented in our schools, students without disabilities would benefit greatly from learning alongside their peers with special needs.

Pat Thomas, author of the children’s book "A First Look at Disability," wrote that "In this world, everybody is unique… That’s because we know that the world is more interesting when we can all be together and learn from each other."

Children with special needs have a wealth of life lessons to teach us, most important of which is accepting and valuing every person we meet, free from judgment, but flowing with unconditional regard for how differently each one of us has been made by Him who has created us all.

“MY CHILD HAS JUST ENTERED A REGULAR SCHOOL. UPON ENROLLMENT, WE DISCOVERED THAT THE SCHOOL HAS A MAINSTREAMING PROGRAM WHERE THEY ARE MIXED WITH SPECIAL CHILDREN. HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO MY CHILD THE PROGRAM AND HOW CAN I HELP HIM ADJUST IN THE CLASSROOM SETTING?” by Genevieve Rivadelo Published 28 July 2008, Manila Bulletin

TEACHER GEEVEE says –

First and foremost, it would be helpful for parents to know that children think differently from adults. While most adults would tend to have set ideas about disability and would stereotype people based on their previous experiences, children, particularly preschoolers, would often have a very limited concept of disability and what it means. Observe two children who have never met in the playground and you will be surprised with how fast they become friends, however different their backgrounds are. Even children from different nationalities, each speaking a different language, have the capacity to spontaneously engage in play with no adult intervention. Such is the power of friendship, free from prejudice but abounding with respect for human diversity.

Several local studies from the University of the Philippines show that children with special needs who are mainstreamed in regular schools are generally regarded positively by their regular peers (Adorio, 1984; Carlos, 1986; Pineda, 2006). With this in mind, you should be assured that your child will most likely not have an “issue” with being mixed with children with special needs since in his young mind, each child is simply different from everybody else, including him! If he asks questions about why the child with special needs seems “more” different than most, take advantage of this “teachable moment” to teach him respect and tolerance for individual differences, and maybe a lesson or two on compassion for others who have been born with a disability. Emphasize that children are more ALIKE than DIFFERENT. It is also the perfect time to help him appreciate how wonderfully blessed he is, not having special needs.

There are several strategies to prepare the regular student for having classmates with special needs. One is by increasing knowledge about children with special needs in order to increase awareness and consequently promote positive attitudes towards disability. There are children’s books, as well as films and television programs which highlight the strengths of people with disabilities. These serve to inspire, rather than promote prejudicial attitudes, among the greater majority. Simulations would be another way to teach about disability in a fun and understandable way to children. You can borrow a wheelchair and ask your child to ride in it while going around school, or blindfold him while working on an arts and crafts activity. Cover his ears with ear plugs then try talking to him as a way of explaining deafness in an experiential way. Better yet, get to know a classmate with special needs in a more personal way by inviting him to a play date. This way, you go beyond the label of the child and appreciate the PERSON behind the disability.

According to Dr. Stanley Greenspan, a well-known psychologist, empathy defined as the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, is already present in infants as young as 6 months of age. More than raising intelligent children, parents should aim for emotionally-mature children who are kind and compassionate to others, and able to create an impact on the lives of many. Being in a school with children with special needs is an opportunity to teach children about essential values that would mold them into becoming adults capable of showing empathy and living out respect for others. Looking ahead into his future, this could actually spell the difference between being truly successful in life or not.

READER'S LETTER ADDRESSED TO TEACHER GEEVEE (08 AUGUST 2008)

Dear Teacher Genevieve,
      
I came across your article in a website about mainstreaming and I was hoping that you could advice me with a problem I have.  My son Allen who's now 12 was diagnosed with autism(high functioning) when he was 1 1/2.  He started SPED at 2, and mainstreaming at Grades 1-3. He went to Kostka School from Grades 4-6 . He is gifted in Math and in English and has a very good memory and high IQ. He has represented the school in various Math competitions and has won in some of them. 
He is presently enrolled at Marikina Science High School (First Year). Here is where the problem all started.  I have been called by the Principal twice and his Homeroom Teacher for more times than that about his behavior .  My son tends to be impulsive sometimes and quite hyperactive.  They say that he has been disrupting class discussions with his shouts at the noises he makes.   There was this issue about him trying to get the gun of a security guard on its holster.  They made a big issue out of that.  I tried to explain that my son did not mean any harm, he just hated guns and he thought it was inappropriate for security guards to be carrying guns on campus. There were quite a number of complaints about his behavior outside the campus gates.  They mentioned that he liked to talked to the college students that were in the other school beside their campus. They even took that against him. They even mentioned that he was often discourteous and direct in speaking to his teachers and superiors.  He just thinks that way, he just tells you directly whats on his mind.  Now all eyes are on him and pressure is enormous. Not to mention the hoards of assignments and projects he has to do and complying with the high standards of a science high school. I always remind him everyday to be on his best behavior when he calls me at during his lunch break.
            I was called on  by the Principal this morning for a conference.  I feared for the worst and felt that this was the end of his schooling at Marisci.  I knew I had to fight for the right of my child to be in that school.  They were telling me that they were not ready to handle my son. I do believe that if they could only give him the chance to prove himself  he would have a definite improvement in his academics and behavior.I do admit that they have high academic standards, and my son would greatly benefit form it. It would break my son's heart to find out in the end that the school he gave much effort to and love to be in would kick him out.  When they hinted that they would do so,  I questioned their decision, explained that my son should be given some disciplinary action to go for suspension instead. They never even once placed him under suspension or probation, now they are trying to get him out since they were having a difficult time with him. After much argument and some heated discussion they gave in. A days suspension after the periodic exams. Two offenses after that and he's out.
             I would greatly appreciate it Teacher Genevieve if you could give me some advice about the best action I could take towards the school and towards my son.  What are the things I should do  to improve my son's behavior at school and his academics? Could you give me some tips?  How do I approach the problem and lessen the pressure on him. How can I make him more productive with his schoolwork? He is always tired and lacking sleep due to his schoolwork and schedule. He's half-asleep during breakfast and always rushing for school even if I supervise him.
            Thank you very much.
                     Respectfully yours,
                     Christina Anne Garcia 
Allen's Mom
christina_garcia7777777@yahoo.com

ANGELO G. GARCIA
Writer
Students and Campuses Bulletin
Manila Bulletin Publishing Corporation
Muralla cor. Recoletos Sts. Intramuros, Manila
Tel.: 527-8121 local 257/240
Mobile: 0927-2947695

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

Dear Mommy Christine,

First of all, allow me to congratulate your son Allen for all that he has accomplished in spite of being diagnosed with high-functioning autism. It is no easy feat to be in a traditional school, presumably within a competitive environment, and come-out as excellent among a multitude of children. His rising above his ‘special need’ testifies to his courage, faith and perseverance, which obviously is a result of your own belief in his capabilities and uniqueness as a person gifted with so much talent and skill.

However, like any other child approaching adolescence, he has his own set of issues about authority, self-identity, and sexuality that oftentimes leads to confusion, manifested in behaviors that are not always desirable. Having high-functioning autism makes this stage of development which is normally characterized by many changes physically & emotionally, doubly challenging for a boy like Allen. Not to mention that he is adjusting to a new school which meets the standards of a science high school, thus subjecting him to higher expectations compared to most other children his age.

Individuals with autism have difficulty coping with changes in routines. They can get overwhelmed when bombarded with sensations to which they could be highly sensitive to. This could include schoolwork that he is not accustomed to, as well as the everyday demands of being a freshman in high school. To put it lightly, social graces are not high on the list of qualities that you could expect from individuals with autism. Not because he is naturally disrespectful or was not brought up to be courteous, but because he could be lacking in self-regulation stemming from a lack of self-awareness and difficulty interpreting social cues.

For us to be able to help Allen, we should first understand why he is behaving the way he does and think of ways by which these behaviors could be corrected. There are no simple solutions, since we are dealing with the complexities of dealing with someone grappling with adolescence while being challenged with an exceptionality. As a parent, this is the challenge for you. Unless you are able to make the school understand your child’s condition, give him a chance to succeed in spite of his unique needs, and commit itself to supporting Allen and going the ‘extra mile’ to grant him the accommodations that he needs, future efforts could be deemed futile.

At this point, I believe you and Allen should see a professional counselor / clinical psychologist who could serve as his mentor & coach. He could help Allen cope with whatever struggles he has, and likewise coach you in appropriately managing Allen at home. His professional opinion would hopefully be valued by the school and if the school permits it, would be the basis for arriving at a positive behavioral support plan which would address his present issues in school.

Some general tips for dealing with pre-teens like Allen would be (1) finding a coach or mentor at school (usually the Guidance Counselor or Class Adviser) who could review the schedule and behavioral expectations to Allen daily, while providing some form of motivation for him to be on his best behavior; (2) teaching organizational & study skills such as the use of planners, schedule boards, ‘post-it’s and color-coded folders/notebooks to optimize learning time and meet deadlines for school requirements; (3) using contract-setting as a form of behavioral management, making use of the concept of natural/logical consequenceswhenever Allen fails to comply with what has been agreed on in the contract, consistently implemented in school and at home; (4) looking for a buddy who could do peer tutoring, as well as serve as Allen’s ‘accountability friend’- someone who would be a ‘good influence’ to him and whose influence he would highly value; (5) adapting assignments and projects by breaking them into smaller chunks by having a time-table and listing down steps to achieve a goal, making sure to set weekly objectives and monitoring performance up to completion; and lastly, (6) involving Allen in sports, music, the creative arts or other areas of interest that would enhance his psychosocial skills and consequently contribute to ensuring his mental wellness, amidst all the pressures he has to deal with.

You know your son best. You know what he is capable of and would therefore be in the best position to decide if his present school is still the best placement option for him, considering his needs and the school’s capability to respond to these needs. The school is an institution, and therefore, has its own set of policies and protocols that we do not have much control over. Parents could only advocate so much as to bargain for possible school accommodations, try to gain the cooperation and understanding of the school, and rally behind their child to give the parental support that he needs to cope with school expectations. Maybe it is a good time to ask yourself what you most value in the choice of school you have for your son and how you would like to see your son 5-10 years from now. This would then help you find answers to most, if not all of your questions, and arrive at the most favorable solutions that would reap Allen long-term benefits and prepare him best to discover his ‘place’ in the world, whatever path he chooses to take.

Yours truly,

Teacher Geevee

“Special children need to learn how to maintain their personal hygiene. I have a 7-year old boy with AD/HD who is scared of the barber and the dentist. How do I psychologize him and make him understand the importance of maintaining one’s hygiene? by Genevieve Rivadelo

Published 15 September 2008, Manila Bulletin <link>

TEACHER GEEVEE says –

Though honing children’s cognitive abilities is a primary concern of most early childhood educators, equal emphasis should be placed on teaching children about the importance of proper grooming and dental hygiene as early as possible. This is essential in the development of good self-care habits that would ensure over-all health and wellness, particularly for the child with special needs. Instilling in the child positive attitudes and the necessary skills to keep himself clean and presentable at all times would facilitate greater social acceptability while fostering self-reliance and boosting his confidence.

Fear of the barber and the dentist would definitely impede our efforts to teach proper grooming and dental hygiene. However, this does not necessarily stem from the child’s lack of appreciation for ‘maintaining one’s hygiene.’ Simply explaining to him how important it is for him to have his hair cut and to visit his dentist regularly would most likely not solve the problem. Thoroughly analyzing the cause of his problem behavior would help us seek for possible solutions.

Try remembering his previous experiences with the barber and the dentist. Did he have an unpleasant experience with them in the past that could have left a negative impression? It can also be somebody else’s negative experience that he witnessed or heard stories of that could have influenced his present attitude towards them. Aside from assuring him that going to the barber and dentist can be something to look forward to instead of to fear, finding a ‘child-friendly’ barber can help assuage his fears. There are kiddie salons now that are equipped with car-shaped barber chairs, children’s videos and comic books to keep children preoccupied, and competent staff who can swiftly snip off those strands of hair with the child barely noticing the job has been done!

Likewise, going to a pediatric dentist who has had experience handling children with special needs such as in the Philippine Pediatric Dental Society beside the Fe Del Mundo Medical Center along Banawe Street, Quezon City could transform the child’s perception of a dental visit from one to be anxious of, to an adventure! Sitting on the dental chair is likened to riding on a space ship, armed with the dentist’s cool gadgets and flying off to space with the child’s mouth wide open as the dentist pokes on the aliens hiding between the child’s teeth. Children walk out of the dental clinic with a big smile on their faces and a friendly reminder to brush their teeth and stay away from sweets.

If all effort has been done to make the barber and dental experience as pleasant as possible, yet the child continues to show extreme reactions to having his hair cut or having the dentist check out his teeth, a sensory-modulation problem can also be considered as a probable concern that needs to be addressed. Some children with special needs could have sensory-modulation issues making them highly sensitive to certain tactile stimuli such as the razor used by the barber, or having any instrument inserted into their mouths. An occupational therapist trained in the method of sensory integration could assess whether the child has difficulty modulating sensory stimuli and prescribe a ‘sensory diet’ to gradually lessen the child’s oversensitivity to the identified sensation. With such intervention, the child could eventually tolerate having his hair cut, as well as dental procedures that previously he would extremely react to.

Other ways by which the child could overcome his fear of the barber and dentist would be: 1) thru simulations whereby pretend play is used as a form of therapy (special schools would often go thru these simulations in the classroom replicating the experience as closely as possible before bringing the students to a real dentist and barber); 2) reading to him children’s books and making him watch videos which teach the value of good grooming and dental hygiene (the theme / concept of “community helpers” as part of the early childhood curricula can be optimized by the school to promote positive attitudes and feelings towards the barber and the dentist); 3) preparing the child to go to either the barber or the dentist by explaining to him immediately prior to the visit what exactly would happen and the expected behaviors from him (children with AD/HD would benefit from clear, verbal reminders and setting of expectations to help them regulate their behaviors), and lastly, (4) rewarding him even for attempts to gradually overcome his fears with positive reinforcement initially in the form of an extrinsic reward (can be a book or a toy that could motivate him) coupled with words of encouragement and a pat on the back, until such time that the experience of going to the barber or dentist becomes a reward in itself.

The process can be long and tedious, and may be frustrating even to the most patient of parents. However, with a parent’s unconditional love and support, anchored on the belief that the child CAN overcome his limitations, the child with AD/HD can succeed and BE the ABLE person he intends to be. AD/HD can be ENABLING, rather than disabling, with a parent’s optimism and belief that any challenge can actually be a source of strength .

I have a 6-year old son who is a regular child and a 4 year old girl who has Down’s Syndrome. Sometimes we hear our son tell his cousins that he feels being left out and that we pay special attention to his sister. How do we make him understand that his sibling needs some “attention” and that we are fair to them and we love them the same way?

Published 13 October 2008, Manila Bulletin

TEACHER GEEVEE says –

It is not unusual for siblings of children with special needs to feel jealous over the attention that parents pour on the child with a disability. Several years ago, one of the kuyas of one of my patients who has Down’s Syndrome candidly told me that he wished he had Down’s Syndrome because his sister, being special, was the ‘apple of the eye’ of their entire family. Their schedules revolved around her needs, especially since she had many doctors’ appointments and therapy schedules to meet, and the family had to adjust their routines to accommodate to her special needs. Every single developmental milestone achieved was cause for a major celebration. The first step and first word uttered seemed like she graduated with honors and received the highest awards! It is therefore understandable why siblings of children with special needs would express frustration, sometimes even resentment, over getting less of their parents’ attention.

To be able to assure your child that you love him as much as you love your daughter who has Down’s Syndrome, you first have to realize that sibling rivalry, even among regular children, is perfectly normal. You have to be convinced that you are being fair to both children even when you give more time and attention to your daughter, simply because she needs more of YOU at this time in her life. Though it is also common for parents of children with special needs to feel guilty over unequally dividing their time between their child with special needs and those without, it is not helpful to dwell on such guilt feelings. Honestly accepting that parenting a child with special needs requires you to ‘equitably’ - according to need, distribute your time, and confidently believing that this does not mean you favor one child over another, is the first step to take in addressing the issue of sibling rivalry.

Some parenting experts would say that siblings can have the most important influence in the life of a child with a disability. They would be sharing in the life of their brother or sister with special needs the longest, even when their parents have passed away. This is an important consideration in trying to understand the dynamics of parenting when dealing with siblings of children with special needs. Though seemingly overwhelming, there are ways for parents to deal with sibling rivalry, particularly during the early years. Allow me to suggest the following:

*Carefully plan your family schedule including one-on-one time for the child without special needs.

Regularly taking your son to a special “date” to a favorite restaurant, park or activity place wherein you can give him 100% of your time and attention would surely make him feel valued and loved. This can help erase thoughts of neglect that may be building up in his head, and assure him that you love him just as much as you love his sister, more than words can ever express.

*Encourage open communication and acknowledge his feelings, may they be positive or negative.

Feelings in themselves are never wrong , but how we respond to these feelings would make them the correct course of action or not. If he feels jealous, tell him you understand why he feels that way before explaining to him why it is necessary for you to give more attention to his sister at this time. Then with a reassuring hug, pledge your unconditional love for both of them. Promise him that if and when he needs you, you will do everything you can to be there for him.

*Explain what is Down’s Syndrome at his level of understanding, without undue expectations.

At six years old, you can explain to your son that his sister has been born with different abilities, making her special and unique. What would make her different from other children is that she would learn to do the things that other children do much slower, but would learn them just the same. Allow him to show her his love and affection in his own special way, without telling him that he should be responsible for her when you are old and gray J Build a strong foundation for acceptance and openness in their sibling relationship, and trust that time will take its course and nurture the bond between them.

*Accept extra help from extended family and friends to give yourself time to relax and be positive.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and it is unrealistic to expect that you can always successfully juggle your time with all the responsibilities that come with being a parent of a child with Down’s Syndrome. You should also find time to pamper yourself – go to the spa, read a good book, watch the DVD you’ve always wanted to see. I believe that you cannot give what you do not have. Love yourself, then it would be easier to show love to your children without having to feel parent ‘burn-out.’ Humbly accept help from others to leave you more time to attend to your other child’s needs.

Being a sibling of a child with a disability is a special calling. It comes with many challenges at different stages of the sibling’s lifetime, significantly impacting on his relationships outside of the family and major decisions at various points in time. Yet, as with any challenge, it brings with it opportunities for growth, maturity, and character building. Eventually, your son will learn to deal with this reality with your constant guidance and reassurance. As parents, be thankful for such opportunity to raise children who could be capable of understanding and respecting differences, have the capacity for self-giving, strong and resilient in the face of trials, and proud to belong to a special family such as the one that you have.

“I have a 6-year old daughter who cannot speak yet. We haven’t brought her to the specialist because I’m barely home due to my work as a seaman. As a father, I know there’s something wrong with her but my wife doesn’t give our child much attention. How can I make her understand that our child has special needs? How can I ensure that she will take care of the child while I’m away.”

Published 17 November 2008, Manila Bulletin

TEACHER GEEVEE says –

There can be many reasons why your wife has opted not to seek for an evaluation up to this time. Generally speaking, parents would always desire what they think is best for their child and professionals such as myself are not in a position to judge parents’ motives and decisions. As a special educator, what I could help you with is to present you with options to choose from in order to provide your child with the opportunities she needs to develop optimally given her present condition. I could lead you thru the process of seeking for an evaluation for your daughter leading to the provision of an appropriate program to help her overcome her communication difficulties and guide you in understanding how you could best support her.

RACE AGAINST TIME

At 6 years old, your daughter should already be asking questions, retelling stories and conversing effectively with peers and adults. Why she is not yet speaking can stem from a variety of conditions among which could be a hearing impairment/deafness, mental retardation, autism, or a mixed expressive- receptive language disorder. A neurodevelopmental pediatrician could conduct a comprehensive assessment to determine the cause of her communication problem and refer you to a speech-language pathologist who can do further assessment on the specific problem areas hindering your child from being able to communicate. Such delay in language development has significant implications on her cognitive and socioemotional development, therefore it is crucial that evaluation should be sought in the soonest possible time. You and your wife should agree to seek for an evaluation and prepare yourselves for whatever the specialists have to say about your daughter’s condition.

A JOURNEY of DISCOVERY

Dealing with a diagnosis of a child’s disability is only the beginning of an interesting journey of discovery not just about your child, but more importantly, about your capacity to love unconditionally. Most parents of children with special needs never realized they had the strength, perseverance, courage, and faith to raise a child with a disability, until they found themselves being face-to-face with the countless challenges that come with parenting a child with special needs. Before they could even recover from accepting the reality of having a disability in the family, they are forced to deal with conflicting opinions about what next to do now that the child has been identified as “special” and who to go to, not to mention the financial preparation needed to receive the necessary services. You could research on the diagnosis given by the neurodevelopmental pediatrician thru the internet, books, and selected magazine articles featuring children with special needs. Being ‘informed’ parents would ease the confusion and feeling of helplessness that most parents experience when first told of a child’s special needs. Inevitably, you would have the last say and would decide whether or not to proceed with the doctor’s or speech-pathologist’s recommendations.

ONE HEART, ONE MIND

Research would show that the best child outcomes in children with special needs result from a collaborative relationship between parents and professionals working towards the same goal. However, before you could work effectively with professionals, it is important that you first deal with your internal issues in your own home. The dynamics of families of OFWs are complex, though not unique considering the rising number of migrant Flipino workers. Dr. Carmela Ortigas, author of the book “Creative Solo Parenting” redefined single parenthood and included families of OFWs as single-parent households of the 21 st century. Children of OFWs need to rely on only one parent most of the time, with the remaining parent taking on the responsibility of looking after the children until such time that the OFW parent returns.

Raising your daughter with special needs requires a commitment from both you & your wife, that together, you would invest your family’s time, understanding, and resources for the benefit of your child in spite of the frustrations and disappointments that you may encounter along the way. It is only by “joining forces” that you could surpass this challenge, each one supporting the other. Enlisting support from extended family and friends would likewise guarantee that intervention availed by the child could be sustained, even when you have returned to work abroad.

ANCHORING ON HOPE

DEALING WITH AUTISM PUBERTY & SEXUAL URGES

Published 12 January 2009, Manila Bulletin 

“My child with autism is already 11 years old and I have noticed since last year that he likes to rub himself against his bed whenever he is sleeping.  I know that this is part of his physiological needs as a growing boy but I do not know how to deal with his sexual needs and urges. He is low functional but verbal. I asked his school how they teach their students about sex but one teacher told me that they do not have a program in place yet since they are a new school.  Please help me and give me pointers.”

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

Puberty can be an overwhelming period not just for children, but for their parents as well.  Most parents are not prepared for the surge of physical and psychological changes that accompany puberty, particularly for the child with autism. It can be the ‘dreaded moment’ for most parents since there is a lot of uncertainty involved in trying to understand and address the issue of sexuality for children with special needs.  Since it is inevitable that this period of development would come as much as we would like to hold on to the illusion that our children will be children forever, it would be wise to anticipate puberty POSITIVELY as a time of learning and maturity when opportunities for teaching abound.  Once again, it is the time when you are called to stand your ground, creatively find ways to ‘ride the wave’ of adolescence, firmly believing in your child’s capacity to go through this period of change as well as you have done so in the past with the various challenges that come with parenting a child with autism.

Before I move on to discussing pointers on how to deal with ‘sexual needs and urges,’ allow me to suggest for you to rule out other potential reasons for your son to be rubbing himself against his bed whenever he is asleep.  Discomfort in the genital area caused by chafing, uncomfortable clothing, penile infections, or irritation from soaps or detergents can prompt him to rub himself against the bed, if we do not assume it is due to sexual urges.  Nevertheless, he is approaching puberty, and it would be helpful to prepare for this important period of your child’s life as he transitions to adulthood.

The first practical step is for you to re-educate yourself about the pubertal changes that children go through primarily to make you more comfortable about the topic of ‘sex education’ and self-assured when explaining to your son about the changes that are about to take place in his body.  Since he has autism and is ‘low-functioning,” explain these changes as simply as possible, beginning with the proper usage of terms to name and refer to the male genitalia.  In an article written by Melissa Dubie from the Indiana Resource Center for Autism and published by the Autism Society of America, it is recommended that appropriate medical terminology be used to refer to the male sex organ [“penis”] to prevent awkwardness and inappropriateness in understanding its function, specifically when all effort is being made to make sense of the bodily changes accompanying puberty. 

In explaining, make sure that you do not give too much information, matching your explanation only to your child’s level of understanding. The same teaching strategies that you have found effective with your son in learning other skills can be used to explain the concept of development at this stage.  You can adapt Dr. Carol Gray’s Social Stories or show him drawings / visual representations of a growing boy, comparing the differences in body structure as he transitions to adulthood, calmly reassuring him that everyone goes thru such stages and there is nothing to fear.

The next important lesson to teach him is about boundaries.  Since he is like any other boy a sexual being with natural sexual urges as a result of changing hormones, teach him about privacy as a way of upholding his dignity, and respecting the rights of others to privacy as well.  Individuals with autism often lack the capacity to recognize and interpret how their actions impact on others, thus it is important to explicitly tell your son not to engage in self-stimulation in public, without humiliating him.  Privately discuss with him that it is not proper to do so, and if he feels the urge for such self-stimulation, to go to the comfort room or to his own room since it is a private matter.  But first, you should directly teach him which places are public and which are private, how distinctly different one is from the other to encourage awareness of societal rules.  Redirection to a meaningful activity is also an option.  

PURSUING A DEGREE IN SPED

“I want to take up SPED but I don’t know which schools offer it.  What should I look for in a school? What can I expect while taking up SPED and how do I know if I’m cut out for it?”

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

I have always believed that teaching children with special needs is not just a chosen profession but a “vocation” for us who have chosen to pursue a degree in special education. The word “vocation” comes from the Latin word “vocare,” meaning “to call.”  Such calling is grounded on the belief that every person has been uniquely created and blessed with gifts and talents geared towards the fulfillment of a bigger purpose, consistent with a particular way of life.  That is special education for me.

Different people have different motives for going into SPED. For the past ten years, we have seen the overwhelming increase in enrollees to SPED graduate and undergraduate programs.  Almost all colleges and universities offering education degrees have started including a SPED degree as one of their offerings, seeing its marketability and potential for growth. It surprises many that it is now a much sought-after course, enjoying popularity resembling that of the nursing profession at its peak. But what makes it so appealing to both the young incoming college freshman, and the more experienced professional wanting to have a major career shift to SPED? Why is it that for those who have decided to pursue SPED, rarely do we see them turn their backs to SPED and instead witness them being consumed by the drama of SPED, pouring themselves into their work with passion and a vision that extends beyond themselves?  What is in SPED?

SPED is life-giving. Teaching a child with special needs allows the SPED teacher to take part in creating life, much like a mother giving birth to her child.  Oftentimes, when parents are told that their child is “special,” it spells death for their dreams of a perfect child.  But the SPED teacher has the capacity to allow parents to dream again, not for perfection, but for a life filled with purpose and meaning.  Such purposeful living revolves around giving the child with special needs the best life he/she could possibly have in spite of imperfection. The SPED teacher becomes a bastion of hope as the family discovers thru her that the child with special needs is capable of being taught and being productive though lacking in faculties and deviating from what is perceived as “normal.”

SPED opens doors of opportunity for both personal and professional growth.  At present, the demand for SPED teachers locally and abroad is high.  The Philippines remains to be one of the leading providers of migrant SPED teachers to the U.S. and other Southeast Asian nations.  As more and more children with special needs are identified and awareness about disability continues to spread, the need for SPED teachers steadily increases and opportunities for employment remain relatively plenty

CHOOSING A SCHOOL

Whether it is for economic reasons or personal fulfillment, SPED is a profession that can satisfy the quest for either one of these primary motivators.  However, to become a highly-effective SPED teacher, adequate school preparation is necessary. In choosing a school, you could seek answers to the following questions: 

r Does the school possess INTEGRITY?  

- A good SPED program should consistently promote the proper attitudes and values    that are needed to become an effective SPED teacher.  The aim of the school  should be to mold future SPED teachers who would contribute significantly to the field of SPED thru committed teaching, research, and advocacy for the disabled wherever they find themselves in.  The financial rewards are just a natural consequence of being committed to being the best SPED teacher possible, but should not be the main reason for pursuing a degree in SPED. 

r  Does the school have COMPETENT and REPUTABLE FACULTY?

- The faculty, particularly for the major courses, should consist of professors from reputable educational institutions with a graduate degree in SPED and who are immersed in the field with actual experience working with the disabled.  The scope of SPED is broad covering a wide array of disabilities. Faculty who are specialists in specific areas of practice such as early intervention, deaf education, learning disabilities, or any other SPED subspecialization would be an advantage.

r  Does the school have an INNOVATIVE and RESPONSIVE CURRICULA?

-         Being a dynamic field, the practice of SPED is constantly changing, with trends in evidence-based practice a necessary component in the discussion of effective teaching strategies and sound principles of management.  The curricula should be comprehensive and cover the different areas of SPED practice namely assessment, curriculum planning, pedagogy & program evaluation.

r  Does the school have ADEQUATE FACILITIES and LINKAGES with different             

     ORGANIZATIONS – both public & private – working with the DISABLED?      

-         Complete facilities such as a library of SPED resource materials, and spacious classrooms with adequate lighting & ventilation make for an optimal learning environment.  Involvement in different SPED organizations lends the SPED program of any school credible, as the SPED student becomes aware of issues surrounding the field and the needs to which he/she is called to respond to. 

Pursuing a degree in SPED is just the beginning of an exciting journey to the world of SPED. It is a vocation I am passionate about, and I look forward to having you and many others share in this wonderful vocation. Let me end with this beautiful quote, “The Lord does not call those who are equipped, but equips those whom he has called.”

PLATEAU IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SPECIAL LEARNER

Published 05 April 2009, Manila Bulletin <link>

My nine-year old niece has autism.  She was enrolled in a special school since she was six years old.  For the past two years, we have seen an improvement in her motor skills and behavior.  However, this school year, it seems that she has been doing the same things.  I read about the “plateau” in special kids.  Is this true?  If yes, how should we call the attention of the school about the IEP they’ve been using?  Would it be best to transfer her to another school?

TEACHER GEEVEE says - 

In ALL children, the rate of development is fastest between birth until 7 years old.  This is what we consider the ‘window of opportunity’ when the brain is capable of astounding changes manifested in the achievement of motor, language, socio-emotional and cognitive milestones.  Although children with autism exhibit atypical development having an impairment particularly in the areas of language and socio-emotional development, they too have the greatest potential for development from birth until 7 years old. 

Nature vs. Nurture

A “plateau” in development at 9 years old is not unusual and can be contributed to many factors, including the natural slowing down of learning in all children as a result of normal maturation.  Nonetheless, the child’s environment also plays a part in the optimal achievement of skills and in facilitating development.  Studies of children with autism would show that those who receive limited help in the form of early intervention would show poor outcomes with little progress and continuing handicaps preventing them from achieving optimal independence in later years (Howlin et al, 2004).        

To simplify, whenever progress in children is being evaluated, there are two basic things to consider – nature vs. nurture.  Nature would refer to the child’s innate abilities, strengths and weaknesses; while Nurture would refer to environmental factors that would facilitate learning and development in children. 

Natural Predictors of Development in Children with ASD

The manifestation of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in children varies widely with respect to cognitive, language and social abilities.  Some children would overtly exhibit the hallmarks of autism, while others would have very few symptoms which would not even be obvious to many.  He/she would not stand-out except in specific situations that would require interacting with others – a core deficit which usually remains even in high-functioning individuals with autism.   Therefore, in evaluating whether the child with autism is progressing optimally in the school where she is in, it would be important to consider the child’s actual potential for learning whether she is low- or high-functioning, to have an accurate assessment of potential progress.  

A study done in the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine by Coplan & Jawad (2005) showed that development in children with ASD is based on three important predictors: age, degree of symptoms of ASD, and level of intelligence.  As mentioned earlier, the younger the child, the faster is her rate of development.  As children get older, their rate of development naturally slows down. Secondly, the greater the manifestation of symptoms of ASD (the more stereotypic behaviors and greater impairment in language and socialization skills), the less improvement can be expected at a shorter span of time.  Lastly, the mental ability or IQ of children with autism can range from profound mental retardation to superior!  This would greatly affect the child’s potential for development.

Nevertheless, even if there is little that can be done about the natural predictors for development, a nurturing environment can help optimize the potential of children with autism. Exposing them to appropriate early learning experiences and engaging them in the type of education suited to their needs would give them better chances of living as normally as possible and contributing to society as well as anybody else.

Optimizing Potential Through Education

Finding the right school and the most appropriate program for your niece with autism is not an easy task. This is the reason why I started out by explaining the common course of development of children with autism so you would understand that progress is not just attributed to the education your child receives, but also to the unique biological ‘make-up’ of the child with autism.  Before you decide to transfer your niece to another school because of the “plateau” in development you have observed, you have to consider first whether there are other natural factors (such as age, severity of autism and IQ) that could account for the slowing down of progress & acquisition of skills in your niece with autism.

However, regardless of innate abilities, we also want to make sure that your niece is receiving the best education possible appropriate to her needs.  The Individualized Educational Plan, commonly referred to as the I.E.P., is simply a communication tool that is collaboratively accomplished by all members of the interdisciplinary team which would consist of the parents/guardian of the child, the special educator, school administrator, psychologist, and allied health professionals (occupational & speech therapists).  This would ensure that appropriate education that has been individually-designed along with related support services are given to the child with special needs.

Ideally, the I.E.P. should be periodically reviewed at least twice a year with all members of the interdisciplinary team.  This is done to guarantee that all educational and developmental goals are aligned considering the child’s present capacity for learning, potential for further learning, and the parents’ long-term goals for their child with special needs. It would help to openly express your concerns to the school in an atmosphere of mutual respect and in the spirit of collaboration.  After all, parents and teachers of children with special needs have the same goal and the same vision – to see the child with special needs “bloom” to full potential in a world that accepts diversity as the norm.

The Special Learner – Manila Bulletin <link>

Genevieve Rivadelo

My son has turned 8 this year but he would still be in grade one this school-year because he flunked almost all his subjects in regular school.  His teacher said he can’t seem to learn the lessons even if the topics were discussed several times already.  She said that my child has learning disabilities and emotional problems so I should enroll him to a special school so he can be given more attention.  It’s the first time I heard about those problems and if there were, where can I bring my child for proper assessment?  Also, if this is the case, is there really a need to enroll him in a sped school?  I’m afraid that my child will be labeled for life if I do that.  Thanks.”

TEACHER GEEVEE says -

Early and accurate identification of disability is necessary prior to any educational or therapeutic intervention.  If we do not recognize that the child needs help, then help will not be given when it is due, particularly when the child’s behavior, style and pace of learning do not meet “normal” expectations and cause an impairment in functioning at home as well as in school.  Consequently, the child is deprived of the opportunity to learn even if he is capable of learning with the use of appropriate teaching strategies suitable to his unique learning needs. 

The end-goal of seeking for an assessment is for the child to receive the best care and help possible to address his individual needs at the soonest possible time.  Waiting for the child to outgrow his learning and behavioral problems often exposes the child to what we call the “secondary wounds of disability.” These would include the blows to his self-esteem from being called names by teachers and other adults, or being teased by classmates and peers because of his limitations. He may not have been officially diagnosed with a disability, but such negative perceptions of himself brought about by a hostile environment can affect his self-esteem and willingness to believe the best in himself. 

The Issue of Labeling

A comprehensive assessment done by competent professionals can determine the child’s strengths and weaknesses in the context of the “whole” child, the focus being on finding areas of potential rather than lack. He may not learn in the same way as other children, but he most definitely would have capabilities that could be optimized instead of his limitations always being highlighted, particularly in school.  The question is not “What is wrong with him?” Rather, it is “How could we help him?”

Seeking for an assessment is not meant to label children as being “special” and discriminate against them.  Beyond determining the diagnosis clinically which can only be done after a thorough evaluation of the child in different contexts including his natural environment which is the home and school, an assessment would serve as the basis for planning out the child’s educational program.  Only then could strategies, interventions, and school placement decisions (such as whether or not he should go to a regular or a special school) suited to his specific needs be recommended.

In cases wherein the child’s learning and development are impaired as evidenced by poor academic performance and social skills deficits resulting to difficulties in establishing healthy relationships with peers and adults, the issue of labeling becomes secondary.  Whether or not he is “labeled” as a result of an assessment, the issues and concerns remain unless help is given in the form of appropriate educational programming and therapeutic intervention.  Sadly, people around him could have already “labeled” him with their own negative perceptions and intolerance for diversity.  

Seeking for an Assessment

An assessment for diagnostic purposes could be sought from neurodevelopmental pediatricians, psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, and sped diagnosticians.  Most often than not, for children who are already going to school, the referral for consultation with these professionals would come from the school’s guidance counselor or from the school’s directress / principal. 

On the part of the school, it takes a lot of sensitivity, understanding, objectivity and sincerity to report observations of the child that could lead to the referral.  Denial from parents should be expected, and should not be personally taken against them.  Being told that your child needs help or may be “special” is like being “sentenced” to parenting a child with a disability, as parents would often say.   However, such grief brought about by the realization that there might be “something different” with your child that warrants special attention should be replaced by proactively seeking for ways to help your child. This is the time when schools should provide parents with the necessary support to help them thru a critical time of doubt and confusion. They could refer them to competent professionals who can conduct a thorough evaluation of the child’s needs, strengths and limitations in order to come up with appropriate and feasible recommendations.    

Choosing your Battles

As parents, there are many tough decisions that you have to make.  Deciding to take the first step byseeking for an assessment is only the beginning of the road for parents like you, wanting only what is best for your child.  You want to protect your son from cruelty, ridicule and judgment, but as a loving parent, you have to choose your battles.  The best armor you have that you could impart to your son is making himbelieve in himself no matter what the world says about him.  Regardless of the negativity and intolerance that surrounds us, you just have to believe and hope in your child, and make sure he would grow up believing in himself and what he CAN do, not what he CANNOT.